How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
