It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
