omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
