Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
