The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
