planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just pee around me
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Randomize
