It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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