Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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