actually, I'm a sock model
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
