Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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