So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
