Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
