Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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