a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Little spoons don't ask big questions
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
