There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
