So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
now i know why i became what i already was.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
