He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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