I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
