he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
