Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
