i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize