YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
