I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
we're so committed to being not committed
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
