Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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