I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
