It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
