Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
