I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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