I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
