White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
