mondays should just be called national damage control day
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
