Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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