How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
