I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
