some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
