What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
