She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
