that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
