At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
