Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
