you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Panties = found
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
