a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
