Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
