Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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