dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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