so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
