Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
