Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
