Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
