She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
