I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
