This house was built for laser tag.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
