how can u be prego again
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
