girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
