I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
