My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
