He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
