she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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