is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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